{"id":291,"date":"2011-08-17T20:39:18","date_gmt":"2011-08-18T03:39:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/messersmith.name\/news\/?p=291"},"modified":"2013-02-25T11:36:32","modified_gmt":"2013-02-25T18:36:32","slug":"the-freight-train","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/messersmith.name\/news\/2011\/08\/the-freight-train\/","title":{"rendered":"The Freight Train"},"content":{"rendered":"

I have posted nothing here since the 29th of September, \u00a02010, \u00a0twenty-one days after Eunice Mae (Eunie), \u00a0my dear wife of forty-seven years died in a hospital in Brisbane, \u00a0Australia. It is not because I have been idle that I have not written. I have published much in my other journal<\/a>. I have grieved, \u00a0mourned and survived. I have done more hard work than I have done in years, \u00a0much of it very unhappy business. Mostly\u00a0 though, \u00a0I have thought about my future, \u00a0or my seeming lack thereof, \u00a0and prayed for guidance and relief. Loneliness was crushing me. I have suffered the worst depression of my life with no relief. Let me illustrate my state of mind and mood with an image I published in October of 2010. This is the face of a man in despair.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Me in October of 2010<\/p><\/div>\n

I don’t like looking at this image. I can’t imagine that it is me. It is probably the most revealing and honest image of me that I have allowed anyone to see.<\/p>\n

So, \u00a0what is different now? The difference is that I have been run over by a freight train. The name of that train was God.<\/p>\n

After Eunie’s death, \u00a0aside from the grief and mourning, \u00a0I concluded that I had two major issues in my life that had to be addressed. The first was being alone. The second was to discover if I really had any further purpose in life. There seemed to be no way to address the first issue. My service to Pioneer Bible Translators in Madang, \u00a0Papua New Guinea, \u00a0a ministry that Eunie and I shared for nearly thirty years,  gave me a purpose, \u00a0but living in Madang in the familiar environment I once lovingly called home was proving to be very difficult, \u00a0as everything there reminded me of my loss.<\/p>\n

From the time I was nineteen my love for Eunie and my status in life as her husband defined me as a man. From 1981 onwards my position in Pioneer Bible Translators and my work in Madang define me as a servant of God. These were the cornerstones of my life.\u00a0 With Eunie gone I felt like half a person and certainly no longer the same man. I knew that my time was coming to a close in Madang. My leadership was no longer needed and my IT skills were stale and old-school. I was close to a burn-out. Still, \u00a0how could I leave behind a life’s work to which my dear wife sacrificed herself?<\/p>\n

God pushed all of these problems aside in a matter of weeks.<\/p>\n

Addressing the issue of loneliness, \u00a0God provoked me to begin a courtship (I don’t know what else to call it.) of a friend of nearly half a century. Grace Mary Preval was a childhood friend of Eunie since the age of four. I had known Grace since she and I and Eunie were students at Lincoln Christian College in the early ’60s. We have always been good friends and, \u00a0through our mutual best friend, \u00a0Eunie, \u00a0kept in contact with each other through the decades. Euinie used to joke with me that if anything ever happened to her, \u00a0she knew that I would run to Grace. How prophetic that was! After an appropriate demurement period Grace began to warm to the idea that we might discover that we could become more than good friends. I would call what followed an explosion of romantic love. It did not take us long to decide to marry, \u00a0no matter what else developed. We will wed in early April of next year. Grace demonstrated her sense of humor by selecting April 1st. Well,  it IS a Sunday,  isn’t it? Sunday weddings are good,  eh?<\/p>\n

The decision to marry put in place a dilemma concerning my future service. Grace, \u00a0newly retired from a lifetime of public service in the areas of teaching, \u00a0early childhood development, \u00a0aid to developmentally challenged persons and speech therapy, \u00a0was not eager to relocate to Madang and begin working again. This is entirely understandable and in agreement with my feeling that God was plotting a new course for me, \u00a0the destination of which I was as yet unaware.<\/p>\n

Again, \u00a0God pushed aside the issue by presenting me with another golden opportunity to which I could not say no. Grace and I decided to investigate whether the International Service Center of Pioneer Bible Translators might have significant work for me. We contacted the administration of the international organization and we were invited to go to Dallas for discussion. In Dallas we enjoyed two days of consultation with the President and other administration officers. The result was an invitation to join the staff as a Media Arts Specialist. My duties will include, \u00a0but not be limited to,  web site design, \u00a0photography, \u00a0HD video production, \u00a0writing and international travel to cover significant events in the progress of the mission. If I had sat down to design a dream job, \u00a0I could not have done better. God has been reading my mind for the last few years. All of the skills I have worked hard to develop over the last couple of decades will now be put to use.<\/p>\n

All this comes at an appropriate time, \u00a0as you might imagine. What you probably do not know is that we have a new razor-sharp young IT man in Madang who is quite handily taking over my job as we speak. I certainly do not want to get in his way. We have been praying for several years to God to send someone to relieve me so that I can take on new, \u00a0fresh responsibilities. Now is clearly the time for me to relocate my wrinkled body and expand my service.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Me in August of 2011<\/p><\/div>\n

So, \u00a0this is me in August of 2011:<\/p>\n

I think that many changes are reflected in my face. During the weeks after Eunie died I set a goal for myself not to languish but to keep moving in whatever direction God seemed to lead me. I had no other guide and could not even formulate hopes for the future. I told myself that, \u00a0no matter what happened, \u00a0I needed to find a way to be happier in a year. For many months that did not seem to be a realistic goal. Then, \u00a0over the next few months I began to be blessed by small victories. I sold a house and a car. I settled all of Eunie’s medical bills. God allowed me to accomplish many other things for which I was ill-prepared. During this time it was the help of my friends who kept me functioning and helped me when I seemed helpless. Gradually I regained competence and confidence. Still,   the big issues remained. Then, \u00a0within a matter of weeks, \u00a0God eliminated them. God confronted me with decisions for which the choice was crystal clear.<\/p>\n

The marriage will proceed next April no matter what else happens. We are looking forward to a new life together for both of us. We are both glad that we are not leaving Eunie behind. I am very hopeful concerning the expanded service which the new position offers me. I have notified my supporting churches of the developments and now await their response. Most of these supporters have been partners in our work for over thirty years. They see Bible translation as an essential part of the strategy to build self sustaining Bible based churches and nurture believers who adhere to scripture. I am confident that I’ll be able to continue in service as long as my talents are useful.<\/p>\n

I’m not a great theologian. However, \u00a0I do occasionally have an insight into my relationship with God. I have recently been reflecting upon the powerful way which God interacts with us through the expression of prayer and the creation of situations. I got no messages from God, \u00a0though I prayed for guidance. Guidance did come, \u00a0though. God simply set up a series of offers which I could not refuse. I don\u2019t know how it can get any plainer than this. One does not say no to golden opportunities.<\/p>\n

I’m now awaiting further orders.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have posted nothing here since the 29th of September, 2010, twenty-one days after Eunice Mae (Eunie), my dear wife of forty-seven years died in a hospital in Brisbane, Australia. It is not because I have been idle that I have not written. I have published much in my other journal. I have grieved, mourned […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[8,7],"class_list":["post-291","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mixed-nuts","tag-pbt","tag-pioneer-bible-translators","odd"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/messersmith.name\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/291","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/messersmith.name\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/messersmith.name\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/messersmith.name\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/messersmith.name\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=291"}],"version-history":[{"count":63,"href":"https:\/\/messersmith.name\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/291\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":356,"href":"https:\/\/messersmith.name\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/291\/revisions\/356"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/messersmith.name\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=291"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/messersmith.name\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=291"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/messersmith.name\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=291"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}